I feel like i’ve been so preoccupied thinking about Jason, and going home, an obsessing about what will happen if i see him or if i don’t, that i almost overlooked the fact that in a week i’ll be a college graduate and moving home for good. I’m going to be leaving my apt for two years, the friends i’ve lived with, and made so many amazing memories with. I’ve had such a good time at college and yea i’m happy to be done, but also quite sad to be leaving Boston, and my friends.
As I have said before i hate change. I hate goodbyes too. When i used to come home from a month at sleep away camp i used to cry cause i missed my friends and camp. Now after living with these girls for 4 years i’m going to be leaving them, and not come back in the fall. I think at times i don’t really think about it cause going home for the summer, i think it’s really going to hit me in sept when i don’t come back.
I really am sad about having to start packing up my room, and leaving my friends. I foresee myself crying on graduation or when i’m leaving. It’s going to be sad. I mean we are never going to be together like this again. Like i’m going to ny, lisa, and diana are going to NY too so we will see each other, but it’s not going to be the same. I’m going to miss living with Lisa. We spend so much time together it’s going to be weird to go home, and know we are never coming back.
I feel dumb for spending so much of my time obsessing over Jason when i need to stop and realize that this is for college. Goodbye Boston, goodbye friends. Obviously i know that i’ll be back in Boston one day and that i’l see my friends again, but that fact that things will never be like this again does make me sad. I’m not saying that life isn’t going to get better. It’s just hard when one chapter of your life closes and a new one begins.
Hopefully i’ll handle this all ok, and that this isn’t goodbye forever, but just for a little while.
