so tomorrow is the big day… graduation.
i can’t believe it. i’m starting to feel a bit overwhelmed right about now. I have so many mixed emotions and i don’t know how to react or what to do with them all. I’m about ready to cry.
I haven’t really cried in a while… which is good. But i’m starting to let everything get to me. I’m sad to leave my friends and Boston, and to actually be done with school. I’m sad to leave my apt, i loved this apt. I’m scared to go home. God – i miss jason so much it still really hurts. I try not to let it get the better of me, and lately i haven’t, but i dunno just deep inside me i still miss him so much and love him and want him back. And i have these fantasies that he would want me back too once i’m home.. but i can’t think like that. And before i could, but now that i am actually going home i can’t think this way cause i’m only going to be hurting myself when it doesn’t happen. I know i have two additional weeks away, but once i’m home i really don’t know how i’m going to handle this.. I’m soo scared.
I think i just need a good cry for right now..
I completely understand how you feel. My granduation was rather bitter-sweet. I was dating this new guy and my ex was there too and I didn’t know which one to run to after it was all over. Needless to say when i left w/ the new guy, I wanted so badly to run to my ex, but I didn’t. I know you really cared about him, but if I learned anything it was this: your young and there are plenty of new guys out there….some are losers…but you will find the guy that thinks the sun rises and sets on you. So plz have your cry b/c I had mine too…but after….dry your eyes…walk tall….and honey you will be just fine.